What would you say to your younger self?

I’ve long believed that one of the most powerful questions we can ask ourselves is this: “What would you say to your younger self?”

It’s a question that does far more than invite reflection. It holds a mirror to the relationship you hold with yourself, revealing the beliefs you carry about yourself and uncovers the emotional scars that most need healing.

When you pause to answer honestly, what emerges isn’t just advice you’d offer a younger you — it’s a window into what you most long for today.

There’s a yearning behind your answer. A deep desire for something you wish you felt — love, safety, freedom, acceptance, encouragement, belonging.

Whatever you would say to your younger self is often what you’re still craving now. That’s what makes this question so important. It’s not about nostalgia. It’s about seeking today’s truth.

This question reveals what you truly seek — not the surface-level wants like wealth or success, but the deeper needs of peace, joy, connection, clarity. This question helps you reconnect with your core needs and your true self.

“What would you say to your younger self?” reveals the gap between who you are today and who want to be. It reflects the parts of you that are still waiting to be loved, seen and heard.

It exposes the false and negative stories you’ve been telling yourself. Stories like “I’m not good enough,” “I’m not lovable,” or “I have to earn my worth.”

If the one thing you would tell your younger self is "there is nothing wrong with you John", doesn't it stand to be true that this is the thing you seek most from your life? To feel that there is nothing wrong with you?

By offering compassion to your younger self, you can begin to rewrite those negative stories with new behaviors, thoughts and believes. New stories that help you shift your mindset from one of despair and suffering, to one of hope, optimism and an expectation that things can shift in your favor.

It reveals how you need to be loved, and how you can be more loving to yourself. Because if you can speak to your younger self with kindness and care, then you can begin to offer that same level of acceptance and compassion to the person  you are today.

You can learn to treat yourself with patience, kindness and gentleness — in the  same way you would treat a child today, who just needed to feel safe and seen.

And maybe most importantly, this question offers a path forward. It reminds you that your life is a story that you’re still writing. And that what you didn’t receive when you were younger, is something you can give yourself today. That the wounds of the past don’t have to define you; but rather they can become the very place from which you grow today.

The ultimate lie that society has sold us, is that what we seek most can only be found in things outside of ourselves — in money, status, recognition and control.

But when you answer this question with honesty, you discover something different.

That what we truly want isn’t societal success, but that thing we would say to our younger self. That you are good enough and that you are loveable.

And that begins with one powerful act: listening to the voice inside and answering it with love.

Reminding yourself that there is nothing wrong with you and giving yourself the agency to love and accept yourself.

Reflection Exercise: A Conversation With Your Younger Self.

So to put this into a practice, I want you to try this exercise. This is more than just a journaling prompt, but rather a doorway into self-awareness, healing, and a new way of living.

Step 1:

Take a quiet moment. Breathe deeply. And ask yourself:

“What would I say to my younger self?”

Let the words come freely. Without judgment.

Here’s an example:

There is nothing wrong with you.

You can be whoever you want.

You are good enough for anybody.

Stop chasing other people’s affection.

Step 2:

Now take those words - and imagine they are true for you today. And if indeed they are true, ask yourself

How does that make me feel?

How might that truth change the choices i make?

How would it impact the life I’m living?

Who would I allow into my space — and who would you no longer give my energy to?

Take a few moments. Let yourself feel it. Write it down.

Step 3:

Now, close your eyes and imagine that this new life is real. Step into this feeling. Imagine that this is the new you. Not sometime in the future - but now, today.

And write down.

What does your life look like?

How does it feel like to move through your day with that level of confidence, peace, and self-worth?

Who are you in that version of your life?

Describe it in detail.

Step 4:

Now if you can imagine something, you are one step closer to making it happen. Because if you can imagine it, in some form this version of yourself already exists.

So, to make it real, ask yourself what needs to change.

Ask yourself:

What new choices do I need to make today?

What old thoughts do I need to let go of — and what new beliefs do I need to embrace?

What new boundaries do I need to set?

What are the new goals I need to chase that align with this version of me?

Step 5:

And finally … dive into gratitude and ask yourself “what am I going to be grateful for today”.

Gratitude is a key component in changing behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs and sets in motion an “upward spiral” of positive thinking and emotional momentum. Gratitude anchors positive change and allows more good to enter our lives.

So this is an important step. Write down - what have I got to be grateful for today?

Congratulations.

You have now created a pathway towards what a better life looks like for you, along with an understanding of those things you seek out the most.

So, use this as your new roadmap. A guiding light towards what you seek most.

Use it to create a new list of new behaviors, new thoughts and new beliefs that will enable a happier, fuller and more meaningful life for you.